to Grad school or not to Grad school ... that is the question

When I graduated with my Bachelor's degree in 2009, after difficult final semesters and re-taking classes to turn D's into A's and B's, I was ecstatic to be be done with academics for the rest of my life.  I obtained my Bachelor's of Science majoring in Child and Family Studies and had planned on working my way through the ladder of Child Care staff to eventually assist in the development of age-appropriate education and programming.  I had believed it was a solid plan.  In retrospect, I now realize how naive that all sounds.

Forgive me as I skip ahead, the events that are not included deserve to have their own story, and you would probably get bored.

My college experience was a great one for the most part.  I had some issues with relationships and a few struggles with my academics, but in the end, I finished with a cap and gown and diploma.  I attribute my success to the organization and leadership skills I gained from being involved as a member of a sorority on campus.  I was able to hold a few positions within my chapter and also a position on our campus' Panhellenic board who governs the recognized sororities.  It was those positive and influential experiences that lead me to seek out a volunteer position.  As I began communicating and problem solving with collegiate women, attending, planning and facilitating workshops a light bulb went off.  I was truly passionate about what I was doing.  I then looked to the women who I looked up to as a leader during my active membership.  It was then that I decided I wanted to have a career as a Student Affairs Professional.

After doing some research on current Student Affairs Professionals, and perusing job postings, I found that most minimum requirements for such a position were a Master's degree in Higher Education.  I began to hit the internet hard and research schools that had such a program.  Luckily I found websites of some organizations who neatly put all of that information together for me.  Here are the life lessons I have learned through the grueling application process (I'm assuming that most graduate programs are just as difficult to apply for);

• Application fees and costs are extremely overpriced

I understand that you have to take a good bit of time to read through and process an application, but $80 is just ridiculous.  I applied to four colleges in one week and nearly over drafted my checking account.  I ate turkey sandwiches for two weeks to recover from that.

• You might have to utilize the post office

I almost gasped when I saw that a LARGE university requested that I send recommendations, essay, writing sample, transcripts, cover letter/resume, program application, assistantship applications and cover letters in a single package through the snail mail.  Now I have zero qualms using the good old USPS, but gathering all of these documents together, in a timely fashion, is not easy.  When you are relying on someone to give you a letter of recommendation, it's not easy to continue to pester them to turn it in ASAP.  Especially if they've recently given birth.  This also leads me to my next point:

• Each university, and program has a different process

For everything.  Applying to the Graduate school is different from applying to your desired program.  Recommendations are sent to the University through filling out an online form, but a one-page letter discussing your relationship, academic ability and experience printed on a company letterhead should be sent to the program admissions department separately and will not be accepted via e-mail.  Or perhaps it might?  Every little detail in the application process usually varies for each program you apply to.  My advice is to communicate with the admissions department frequently and ask any and all questions you may have.

• I feel like a narcissist

I'm not one who likes to go on and on about all that I have accomplished.  Especially being a part of the Greek community, it's not always respected or admired.  Writing countless essays explaining how I have made an impact and what skills and qualities I possess that will make me an asset to a program or department becomes quite tiresome.  I thought that my first few essays were great, only to realize that I haven't perfected my process until about the 30th.  The key is not to brag but prove that your involvement created a positive change.  Be specific as to what skills you have will be strengthened and what skills you will gain through the education of the program you are applying.

• Debt, debt, and more debt.

The thought of paying tuition again makes my stomach turn.  I watch Sallie Mae drain my bank account every month and shake a fist at the piece of paper on the wall.  BEFORE you begin applying, understand your own financial situation and assess your options from there.  I knew that saving an extra $15k in a year was not exactly feasible for me.  So I only applied to programs that either required or encouraged assistantships for their applicants.  Most assistantships that I came across provided 100% tuition reimbursement plus a stipend each semester (pocket change).  Some positions even included housing and meal plans. KNOW YOUR OPTIONS!  There is no federal funding for Master's programs however you can take out personal loans.

• Patience is a virtue

Most of the Student Affairs programs that I came across are cohort programs.  This means that students are admitted in the fall semester, usually have the same course sequence, and graduate as a group.  Deadlines for programs such as this are between December to February with some programs accepting later applications to fill open spots.  This means you apply in the fall/winter, interview in Jan-March, then can wait as long as mid-summer to hear from a program.  It's a multi-step process and painfully slow.

My journey to obtain my Master's degree still has yet to begin.  I decided to take 6 credits of 600-level courses to get my feet wet in academia once again.  I will put myself through the application process once again for Spring 2015 admission and possibly Fall 2015.  As I type that I feel actual anxiety to begin this process all over again, but alas, I know what I want from life and need to do all that I can to become successful.  Failure is not an option!

         

Breaking Bad in 2014

This year it is ALL about Breaking Bad

 … habits that is.  Of course I watched the conclusion of Heisenberg along with the rest of the world.  If you didn't, put that on your bucket list!

ANYWAYS, this year is about breaking my bad habits. I have too many to list one by one (and thousands more my mother could name).  So in 2014, here is to HEALTH, WEALTH, and HAPPINESS!

HEALTH

Last year I successfully completed P90X and made it through most of P90X2 (the program just wasn't for me). I have never felt better about my overall fitness. I did both workouts with my boyfriend who altered his diet also.  I never have had to diet because I plateaued at 98 pounds when I was 16 (sorry I'm not sorry). After reading into a little bit about "clean eating" (and by little, I mean doing research for months #LibraProblems) and decided that it was a lifestyle change that I should adapt.  My bad eating habits of snacking on crap, snacking constantly and eating too much fast food have left me feeling lousy. Clean eating refers to eating foods that are as close to nature as possible.  Basically I'm cutting out all processed foods and using a lot of fresh vegetables and fruit. I hope that clean eating will help my body to all around feel better. You know, wars off infections and illness better, sleep well, just overall physically feel better.

WEALTH

This is the year I get an even better handle on my finances. I have a bad habit of shopping… a lot. I have made the resolution to use my earnings for experiences rather than things. I would much rather go on an excursion or vacation than hang something in my closet (that is usually too trendy to pull off or too fancy for a weekend out).  My boyfriend started saving all of his $5 bills after reading an article about a woman who saved thousands by doing this.  It's my hope that by planning trips that I will be too busy and consumed with that to shop online.  I'm also going to unsubscribe from all of the emails that I get about sales! This is going to be a challenge, but I'm up for it!

HAPPINESS

Happiness is not easy to achieve. I believe that absolute happiness comes at the top level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, (Self-actualization) which almost no one reaches. I absolutely refuse to accept anything but my wildest dreams.  I will continue to pursue all of my hopes and dreams. What else do we have to live for?  I refuse to compare my path in life to anyone's because, like a fingerprint, we all have a different one.  I seek to please only myself and hope that those who truly care for me accept and support me. So my bad habit of sulking in my lack of success or current situations is simply wasted time. This year I will focus all of my energy into what makes me happy!

So that's it! I hope that this year will have a lot in store for me. I have a few things in the works already and I'm working on radiating nothing but positive energy! I wish you all the same of HEALTH, WEALTH, and HAPPINESS this year!  Now go binge on Breaking Bad, you'll thank me later!

oh cramp, Aunt Flo's on her way

5 ways to tell if you're getting your period.
I know, not like you actually need a list.






1) Food.

Lots of it.  Sweet, salty, hot, cold, whatever you can get your hands on!  You eat so much and have such weird cravings that for a minute you actually wonder if you could possibly be pregnant (Insert internal freak out).  Then you direct yourself to a calendar and realize it's been about 3 weeks since there was a crime scene in your pants.

2) Anger.

You hate the world.
Why do your friends have to blow you off all the time? You always pull through for them!
Your boyfriend just doesn't listen to anything you say.
When you asked him to pick up dinner, why did he get himself a side of fries, but completely forgot that you like fries too?  He is not the only person on this earth who wanted fries today with their BLT!!
Where did all of your clothes go??  You have ABSOLUTELY nothing to wear for any occasion that may come up.
WHY IS IT MONDAYYYYY????

3) The crying.

Commercials.  Whether it's a cute baby, puppy, or a third world country in need of clean drinking water, you're going to bawl your eyes out.

Music.  Taylor Swift is just getting you right now!  She must have read your tweets during your breakup.

Anything... Today I read a BuzzFeed.com article about the ways that Metallica's "Enter Sandman" is used to get crowds at sporting events hyped.  I cried.  I CRIED TO ENTER SANDMAN.  Enough said.

4) Pain.

Did someone just punch you directly in the ovaries?  Is your body about to self-combust?  Did an alien lifeform invade your body a-la "Men in Black"? Nope, those are just cramps making you double over in pain.  This pain is unlike anything a man can relate to, SO DON'T EVEN TRY!

Just kindly excuse yourself at work while you make your way to the bathroom looking like Quasimodo in a skirt.

5)  Your friends are on their periods.

You're sitting at brunch and your besties are eating multiple bananas to battle their intense cramps.  They are also wearing full Yoga attire with zero intentions of exercising because they're so bloated.  Oh no, this means you're next!  What is the scientific reasoning why we sync up anyways?  I'm going to believe that it dates back to caveman days and how only one person seemed to have all of the tampons.

But seriously, Kate Spade purses ARE small!

So get ready to stock up on the feminine products, the midol, the chocolate, the wine, and remind your boyfriend to walk on eggshells!

No 'Poo update

Not too long ago, I wrote about my attempt to give up shampoo cold turkey.  Known as the "No 'Poo" method, I replaced my shampoo bottle with a box of baking soda (still have yet to do the vinegar conditioner). 

After using the baking soda for a few weeks, I went on vacation to Las Vegas.  I'm not sure if it was the dry/hot weather, or this new conditioning oil I bought, but my hair was just plain gross.  So out of convenience, I used regular shampoo.

This is when I could tell the difference in my hair.

Cons:

While using the baking soda method is said to prolong the time in between washes, I was hoping for better results.  My hair does get greasy or oily looking and feeling if I go a day without washing.  Two days is simply unheard of for me.  I am able to go one day without washing and my hair doesn't look too bad, but halfway through the day I need to apply some dry shampoo.

My color treated hair does not hold as well, but that could be because my hair has also been bleached (ombre colored hair).

Pros:

My hair used to take absolutely forever to dry with the hairdryer.  Every time that I use baking soda, my hair dries so quickly that I only spend time straightening the ends!

The way my hair feels after a fresh baking soda shower, is complete weightlessness.  It is an absolute feeling of clean.

So this may not be much of an update, but I'm still sticking with the baking soda in an attempt to change the way my hair is.  I'm hoping to see more results over the next few months.  I'll keep you posted!

Someone Call the "WAH-mbulance"

Pet Peeve Post:


from Kelly Williams Brown's Adulting: How to Become a Grown-Up in 468 Easy(ish) Steps:

Don’t mention how tired you are
Whoa, what? You’re tired? What a fascinating and rare tidbit! Also, this person will definitely be able to help you out on the sleep front.

oh you're tired? you worked all day? you have a million things to do? well, here's a little secret Sally-Works-A-Lot, SO DOES EVERYONE ELSE!!  Oh and did all of that complaining and whining actually give you more energy and make you less sleepy? no? really? it didn't??? I'm Shocked!

If there is one thing in the world that I do not have any patience for, it's people who complain.  So much so, I devised a list;

1)  Complaining makes you less attractive

That should be reason enough to stop complaining.  Your date will not be interested in you what-so-ever if all you talk about is yourself, and your problems.

2)  You're situation will not change

If you're complaining about something, you're only escalating the issue.  For instance, if you're unhappy about a situation at work, going on and on about how horrible it is only adds to the problem.

3) You cannot dwell on things that are beyond your own control

When something is completely out of your hands, the only thing to do is accept it and move on.


Be a problem solver, not a problem starter.

If you are unhappy about a situation at work, speak to your boss about it.  What's the worst that could happen?  Keep in mind that actions speak louder than words.  Continuing to complain and whine about something that bothers you is creating more negative energy that no one wants to be a part of.
So to end my lengthy rant keep this in mind;  change what makes you unhappy or lay the bed you've made or yourself.

The No 'Poo 'Do

After reading some lovely posts from Pinterest (sorry, can't locate the original pin/blog) I have decided to give the "No 'Poo Method" a whirl.  This doesn't mean that I'm going on a strictly liquid diet.  I have decided to give up shampoo.  Cold turkey.

Here's the reason why I decided to give up 'Poo (I love saying that).  I need to wash my hair every single day, or it will get greasy pretty fast.  If I wash it in the morning before work (6am), I usually have to heavily style it or pile on the dry shampoo for a night out.  I always envied my blonde-haired friends who could skip washes and still have flawless hair.  I decided that I wanted to try this method based on the simple fact that those who have given up shampoo only have to actually wash a few times a week.  Some of the bloggers chose this method for reasons such as being thrifty, or it's environmentally friendly.  As much as I would like to claim I'm doing my part to help the environment, I am too much of a culprit in other areas.  It's simply an added bonus to save a few bucks and mother nature as well.

So let's get to it!  I ended up starting this on a workday, which didn't leave me much time to experiment, measure, or stare in the mirror to notice a difference.

"Shampoo" Ingredients:

2 tablespoons baking soda

1 cup water

Squeeze bottle

"Conditioner" Ingredients:

2 tablespoons Apple Cider Vinegar

1 cup water

Spray bottle


Most blogs I read say to use two tablespoons baking soda and one cup water.  Due to lack of time, I just threw some water in.  Also, I used a little bit more baking soda anticipating I would need more since my hair gets so greasy.  I used an "old fashioned" ketchup bottle for my "shampoo" mixture.  After adding the baking soda and filling it a little under halfway with water, I shook up the bottle to mix it up.  In hindsight, I probably should have stirred this, but I was in a hurry.

Since the baking soda is for your roots only, the squeeze bottle worked wonders to put the mixture right on my scalp.  The baking soda is said to clear away any build-up from the products we use.  I read that the mixture would get "slimy" feeling, a texture close to shampoo, but I didn't experience that.  The only time it was slimy was when it was on my face and in my hands.  It was gritty in my hair and I immediately regretted what I was doing.  I didn't resort to shampoo though, I kept going.  I massaged the baking soda mixture through my scalp, then rinsed it thoroughly.  

A modification I made was to completely skip the vinegar "conditioner".  I have a strict, almost OCD, shower routine and the thought of rinsing my hair after I've washed my body gives me chills.  Additionally, I didn't want to have to douse my hair with perfume to mask the vinegar scent.  So I cheated and used regular conditioner.  I plan on either making a vinegar mixture with coconut oil, or simply switching to a leave-in conditioner in the future.

Some blogs claimed that hair was a little "straw-like" and hard to comb through.  In the shower, my hair did not feel soft or manageable.  Again, I regretted going through with this on a workday.  Once I took a wide toothed comb through my hair and began blow-drying it, I noticed the difference.  My hair was very soft and light.  I thought to myself, "is this what healthy hair feels like?", as I ran my fingers through it over, and over again.

Pleasantly surprised is how I would explain my reaction.  My hair did not feel "weighed down" or oily as it usually did around 5pm every evening.  It was easy to style as well!

This is day 2 of "No 'Poo" and I was too scared to skip a wash, so again I used the baking soda mixture (no vinegar) paying even less attention to measurements.  I received the same results.  I'm going to slowly ween myself off washes and report back with the results!

looks normal right???

Have you tried the "No 'Poo 'Do"? Will you try it now?  Let me know what you think!

Summertime Soundtracks

Windows down, radio up.  These are just as synonymous with the warm summertime air as barbecuing and swimming.  When the seasons change, other than updating my wardrobe, the first thing I do is create a new playlist.  As you found out by my previous post, I love discovering new music.  I also love to push my own music choices on my friends... So here is a Summer dose of that!

I want to preface this recommendation by saying that when I first was a fan of Rihanna's "Pon De Replay" (come Mr. DJ some Pon De Replay...) I proclaimed that she was going to be dubbed a One-Hit-Wonder.  Well, we know how that ended up.  I'll admit it, I was wrong.  This is something that I also thought whenever I first heard the catchy/kitschy tune of "Thrift Shop".  The duo of Macklemore and Ryan Lewis created a song about passing up on expensive duds to the tune of horns with a deep-voiced chorus by Wanz.  This song has everybody "popping tags", whatever that means.  The Heist is SO much more than expected.  After years of grinding it out in the local Seattle hip-hop scene, Ben Haggerty aka Macklemore, teamed up with DJ/Producer Ryan Lewis in 2010 in a well-known sample of Red Hot Chili Peppers' Otherside.  After generating quite the hype and buzz for themselves through social media, their sophomore release, The Heist debuted at number two on the Billboard 200.  Quite the comeback I'd say!

Every topic from Drug abuse and battles with sobriety to the nostalgic feeling of playing ball with your friends in the summertime.  If you solely base this album off it's leading single "Thrift Shop", you will be terribly mistaken.  Right now, their 3rd single "Same Love" battles the topic of same-sex marriage, and hits it hard.  This is a topic that isn't familiar to the hip-hop community, but widely discussed.  Right now this duo holds the #2,  #44, and #63 songs on the iTunes' singles' chart.  They hold #1, #4, and #10 on the Hip-Hop chart. This duo has really made their mark on the hip-hop genre.  Ryan Lewis' producing skills are amazing on this album, creating such great tunes as a backdrop to Macklemore's fun, though provoking, and relate-able lyrics. Ryan also has his chance to shine with an instrumental "BomBom (feat. The Teaching)".

What I like about their sound:  There is a song/beat/melody for every mood.  Fun to dark to though-provoking.
Worth the charge to my card?:  150%
Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: "I used to drink away my paycheck, celebrate the mistakes I hadn't made yet" A Wake (feat. Evan Roman), Ten Thousand Hours about putting in so much time before the world sees you as successful, Thin Line some love stories drag on long after they are really over.

This album I recommend may seem a little out of the ordinary for you.  How I came across the album "Nesliving, Vol.3 - Voglio di +" is by surfing the international charts on iTunes.  I wanted to revive my knowledge of Italian and thought, what better way than through music?  After some intense googling, YouTube watching, and lots of Google Translate, I came across the duo Nesli.

Nesli, is made up of brothers, Francesco and Fabrizio, who both had successful underground solo ventures.  Then they decided to combine and create an Italian hip-hop-mind-blowing experience.  Nesly, the previous stage name of Francesco, was influenced by a producer who directed him to rap over live instruments for a new sound.  The response was numerous successful mix-tape-style singles. It was for his second solo project "The Remedy Tape, Vol. 1" that Nesly turned to his older brother for help and collaboration.  It was then that the brothers decided to go by "Nesli" and the rest is history.

I have tried to think of an American equivalent of this duo to describe their style to my friends.  They do rap in Italian, but they also sing and the topics aren't as "street tough" as say an Eminem album.  Their songs (after rough translation) are about being in love, losing love, and enjoying life in general.  One of my favorite songs off this album is "Partiro", which roughly translates to "I will leave".   The tone of the song is sort of dark.  It's about leaving someone behind and not looking back.  Turning a new leaf.  The composition of this song is upbeat and great to listen to.

What I like about their sound:  They are Italian rappers!  They could be talking about vacuum cleaners and I would be put into a trance.  Plus, the best way to learn a second language is through music!

Worth the charge to my card?:  I find myself singing in Italian, and it was quite the musical discovery.  No international charges added, although sort of difficult to navigate through iTunes.

Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: I've already discussed this, but I also love E Una Vita (it's one life), Se Puoi (If you can), and Respiro (I breathe, or give me breath)

If you are a lucky son of a gun who gets to see Kenny Chesney on tour this summer (my boyfriend has to be in a wedding when he comes to Pittsburgh >:o| ) you will also get a chance to see Kacey Musgraves.  She happens to be one of the opening acts for the No Shoes Nation tour.

Kacey's first single hit the airwaves late last year, with Merry-Go-Round.  A song about the cycle of generations in a small town.  This isn't her first time at writing though.  Kacey has been writing and singing before she was on this earth for a decade.  Her "big break" came when she was a contestant on the 2007 season of Nashville Star.  The exposure got some of her penned lyrics to the voices of Martina McBride, Miranda Lambert, and even on the new NBC show Nashville.

Same Trailer, Different Park seems to boast the typical country lifestyle.  I think you'd be surprised to what this album has to offer.  Now don't get me wrong, there is plenty of local-diner-gossip themed songs, but also about love, love lost, and even tackles same-sex marriages, following in Same Love's footsteps of genre barriers.  Although, a singer-songwriter, Taylor Swift she is not! (Total compliment btw.)  Softly spoken words, and beautifully written lyrics.  Country through and through, but don't turn your nose if you aren't a country fan.  From the trailer park to park ave, anyone can get into this album.

What I like about her sound: Relate-able lyrics against soft melodies, yet fun and upbeat also.  True country spirit.

Worth the charge to my card?: This album was a risk, but I'm so glad that I was able to discover her sound!

Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: Blowin' smoke (probably another single soon), Follow Your Arrow You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't! Step Off self-explanatory.

Finally, I'd like to mention some singles that I believe everyone should check out, in addition to these albums.

Timeflies - I Choose You

Robin Thicke - Blurred Lines (feat. T.I. and Pharrell) This is such a FUN & sexy tune!! (and video)

Zedd - Clarity (feat. Foxes)  As heard on Glee's regional's finale episode

*Info from iTunes artist page.

Is "undateable" a word? it is now.

I've been in 3 long-term relationships, and I don't know why.  I'm not that great of a girlfriend.  In fact, I have compiled a list of 8 reasons why someone wouldn't want to date me, but I'm a cool person, so I added 2 reasons why they would

1.  Compromise is not a thing.

Yada, yada, "the key to a good relationship is compromise".  Sure that sounds all fine and dandy, but listen, if we are going to a movie, we aren't being cheap-o's and skipping the 3-D version.  NOR are we going to pay $12 to see appendages flying through the air in a film that's all gore and no plot.  I don't think I've EVER compromised when it comes to movies.  Also, restaurants.  I don't want to go hungry, so we have to eat somewhere I like.  I'm not a picky eater, but I don't want to go somewhere if I'm not sure what my options are.  BUT keep in mind that I don't want to displease you, or seem difficult.  So I'm not going to choose.  I'm expecting you to choose the one that I want :-) Good luck!

2.  How is a gift card an unacceptable gift?

I always end up buying a gift that I think someone needs.  Or something that I really wish someone would buy for me.  There is never a question as to what someone should get as a present for me, it's one of my Pinterest Boards.  No guessing game required!  Unless you hint at something, have family/friends tell me what you want, or you blatantly instruct me on what to get you, I expect a half smile thank you.  I'm used to the response of, "oh cool, what does it do though?"  It's ok, I'm here to educate.

3.  Roman-ize

If I see a good looking guy, I wonder what it would be like to date him.  I cannot help it.  As much as I try, I just can't!  As bad as it sounds, I get much satisfaction in knowing that a man finds me attractive.  So, I flirt.  I think this is more of a power thing.  I enjoy manipulating someone into thinking that they have a chance with me, and then crush that sliver of hope.  I just may have the characteristics of a Disney villain. hmm.  This has to be unsettling for anyone who dates me.  Considering I have cheated on nearly everyone I've dated, but that comes down to the relationship being long past over and me not having the guts to end it. Live & learn!

4.  Love my friends.

Bottom line.  My friends are awesome.  I don't judge them, they don't judge me.  I talk about them all the time, so if you can't keep their personalities/locations straight, well were you even paying attention??  If you don't love them or vice versa... buh-bye.

5.  Champagne taste on a beer budget.

I have no concept of money.  I overspend.  I bust my budget.  I irrationally rationalize with myself.  I buy expensive things that I need to have.  I can't help it that I'm really into being on top of trends and like to invest in my wardrobe.  However, in my defense, my bills are paid on time.  I simply may need to live with my (or your) parents a little longer than anticipated.

6. I live in a complete fantasy world.

I will never stop chasing my dreams of travelling the world, and making a living doing something I love.  My goals are not unattainable, nor are they ridiculous.  My ultimate career goal is to become a professor and do tons of research.  There is nothing wrong with that.  Although, I also dream of living a very glamorous life.  I believe that both of those goals are more than simply hopes and dreams.  The issue with this for a significant other of mine, is that I refuse to let anything hold me back.  If I need to move, I'm going to pack up and go.  If you want to/can follow me, then that would be lovely.  If not, I'll manage.

7.  I have relationship ADD

I get so bored in a relationship.  In the beginning I'm that girl, who can't get enough of their boyfriend.  Flash to a year later, and as he leans in to kiss me, I turn and give him the cheek.  This also adds to my infidelity.  I'm always looking for something new and fun to do.  I was once in a very long relationship, and it got to the point where I simply wasn't attracted to them as a partner anymore.  Not that I didn't think they weren't good looking, I just had no desire to be intimate with them.  This has happened with every long relationship I've been in to date.  Which worries me.

8.  Me. Me. Me. Me. ME!

If you couldn't tell, I'm extremely selfish.  If things don't go my way, get out of my way or face the consequences.  Right now, I'm thinking the only reason I want to get married is to throw an awesome party for myself where my friends feel obligated to attend.  Unlike a 27th birthday party which is ridiculous to fly across the country to attend.  I want what I want, and I want it now.  I want to spend my money on me.  I want to have to fun.  I want to enjoy life.  My way.

Well now that you think I'm a horrible person, Here are 2 reason why I am completely date-able:

1.  I am generous.

Although I buy horrible gifts, and they aren't what you had in mind, sometimes, I really get it right.  While I'm depleting my bank account on ridiculous, expensive clothes that I absolutely need in order to function, I'm also stumbling upon something for you too.  While I may not be thrilled about doing something that I don't want to.  I also am a huge people-pleaser, so I won't complain.

2.  I am enthusiastic about life

As I stated earlier, I have huge hopes and dreams, which in some cases is a downfall, however, it's also a bonus!  I love to travel and experience new things!  I may not be a huge thrill seeker, but I'll watch a thrill.  I live every moment to the fullest and take every opportunity handed.

This leads me to my current relationship.  I began writing this because we are about to come up on our 1 year anniversary (go ahead, roll your eyes).  In the beginning of this relationship I can attest to informing my boyfriend, numerous times, "I'm a very difficult person to date, are you sure about this?"  I just wanted to let him know what he was getting into.  Fortunately for me, we share enough similarities, and differences that our relationship is absolute balance.  I'm kind of baffled by the whole thing.  At this point in my other relationships, I was bored.  I think it's the sense of adventure that we both share enables us to keep things fun by taking in new experiences together.  I'm up for this adventure!

First Date Don't... Movie Date Advice

You may think that going to a movie on a first date is a good idea, but did you really think it through?

For women, we are excited to finally go to a romantic comedy with someone other than our mother, selves, or girlfriends.  Is that how it really goes though?When you are going to go on a first date with a guy and he suggests going to a movie, here's what he's thinking: avoid awkward conversations, awkward silences, and hopefully sneak in some mild touching/make out sesh*.

Oh the differences between genders.

First of all, who is going to pick the movie?  There's a 99.9% chance that you're not going to be interested in the same movie.  Obviously you want to go to the Rom-Com, and he wants the action/comic-based movie. He will probably let you choose the movie, but you'll have to make up for his pain with some sort of pleasure.  Yes, I'm speaking sexually, or at least something close to it like a parking/make-out sesh.  It's only right!

So now that you've decided on a flick, your man is supposed to offer snacks.  What if he doesn't? What if you want to pig out?  You probably should have snacked before as to not risk looking like a hog with your giant Coke, buttered popcorn, and family sized Reeses' Pieces.  I hope he took out a loan for this date.  Personally, I pack my own snacks for movies to avoid going into debt, but that would look weird.  As if you thought he wouldn't offer, or can't afford it.  Now you're just rude.

I know that I mentioned earlier that men think that they are avoiding awkward situations by choosing a movie date, but this just creates different awkward-ness.   Obviously the dance of who pays for what (food, tickets, spring for VIP seating, 3D upgrade), but that's unavoidable during any first date.  The main culprit of the awkwardness happens during the movie.  Theater seating is less than intimate, unless you can lift of the armrest.  You just met this guy, do you want to cuddle?  Should you cuddle?  Is it a cuddling type of movie?  Does he try to hold your hand? Will he put his hand on your leg?  The worst is probably during a steamy scene.  Avoid eye contact, unless you are trying to get it on afterwards.

Movie dates are good in theory, but it lacks the main component of a first date: actually getting to know the person!  You don't have a chance to chat other than about the movie afterwards.  Whether they were as into the shirtless guy on screen as you, shouldn't have anything to do with going out with them again.  If a movie date is unavoidable, I have some advice for you.  Compromise when it comes to choosing a movie; choose the action flick with a lot of shirtless guys. Suggest getting dinner before, or drinks after.  You may learn something about this person that could help you choose a movie that you both would like.  Also, you will have a chance to get to know their personality.  Only then will you be able to judge whether or not a heated make out sesh is necessary.






*sesh - abbreviation for session.  deal with it.

Music is my boyfriend

Well, not really.  I just remember seeing that on multiple emo t-shirts, and I think a few song titles... but I digress.

I recently purchased a few new albums and wanted to share their greatness with you.  (FYI: I purchased these albums via iTunes, no stealing involved!)

Imagine Dragons' "Night Visions"

I loved their first single "It's Time", so when I went to purchase only that song, I figured I should just buy the whole album and discover some new music.  Turns out that this group is not a one-hit-wonder by any means, and it's second single, "Radioactive" is currently #1 on Billboard's Alternative Songs' chart, and the same on the iTunes Alternative chart.  Their track "On Top of the World" sounds like something written after achieving success and is the perfect soundtrack to any good day.  For the opposite effect, "Nothing Left to Say / Rocks" is a melancholy tune, but the 2 for one also lasts 9 minutes.

What I like about their sound:  It's Rock but mainstream without being too cute and cuddly (if that makes sense).

Worth the charge to my card?: I like their sound and more than one song on the album, but I don't think I'll be jumping to buy tickets for their concert soon.

Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: Bleeding Out, worth the 99 cents!

Lana Del Rey's "Born To Die: The Paradise Edition"

I'm a little late to jump onto the Lana Del Rey bandwagon.  After hearing a lot of positive hype about her first single "Video Games", I saw her on Saturday Night Live, and reacted much like McKayla Maroney, unimpressed.  I had pretty much written off all future songs by Del Rey after that.  It wasn't until I overheard "Video Games" while in a tanning bed, and was intrigued by her signature sultry voice.  The tune "Blue Velvet" was used in an H&M commercial and once again, I was put into a trance by her voice and decided that her album would be a great investment.  Some of her more upbeat tracks remind me of Lady Gaga's The Fame album tracks "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich" and "Boys, Boys, Boys".  Songs about love, flings, traipsing about New York, and Vegas make this a very fun album.

What I like about Lana Del Rey's sound:  As I've explained, she has such a sultry voice, but her range is quite impressive. "Off to the Races" displays the lowest octave of her voice and then the highest 

Worth the charge to my card?:  This compilation has all of the tracks from both her "Born to Die" and "Paradise" albums, so you get all of her better-known hits, as well as discovering your own favorites.

Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: "Diet Mountain Dew" - fun and playful; "Off to the Races" - about the fun of loving a bad boy, and wondering if it will always be like that.

Bruno Mars' "Unorthodox Jukebox"

Bruno Mars' much anticipated sophomore album.  When I heard the title of the first single, "Locked Out of Heaven", I expected something different that what Mars' delivered.  I ended up purchasing the single probably a week after it came out, it became one of those songs I couldn't get tired of.  I don't own the Doo-Wops & Hooligans album, I wasn't too into the sound at the time.  What prompted me to preview the entire album, was his second single, "When I was Your Man".  Although I'm not that into sappy songs, the thought of a man behind a piano piqued my interest.  In my mind, Bruno Mars' had been labeled sort of as a modern  Motown revival, and this album is a mix of  mainstream and throwback tunes.  "Moonshine" sounded like an 80's Michael Jackson tune, and I don't hate it!  With strong lyrics about finding love/lust, looking in the wrong places, losing it, and just women in general, there is something for everyone.

What I like about his sound:  Fun with production, and different instruments.  He still stays true to his "modern Motown" sound.

Worth the charge to my card?:  There are only 10 tracks on the album, but I've found great songs that I probably wouldn't have heard unless they were released as singles.

Favorite song on the album, other than current radio hits: "Gorilla" - a fun, sexy song about lust, and romps between the sheets; "Money makes her Smile" - Music makes her dance/but money money money makes her smile. I can't explain this song other than I can picture a hot steamy video for it.

Just a reminder that I'm no music expert! I have a very eclectic taste in music and wanted to give a different perspective on what I've been listening to.  I hope that in reading this, you will take it upon yourself to discover either these albums, or brand new ones on your own.  Share them with me! I'm always looking for fun new bands/singers to blast in my car.

It's been a while...

Been a long time coming...

So it's been a very long time since I've written my last post.  A lot of changes occurred in the time since... LET'S MAKE A LIST! (imagine that being said in a cartoon-ish, child-programming-sing-song-voice)

1. I am what they call a "boomerang child"... "Lucky me"

2. I was unemployed for almost 11 months. Yes collected unemployment (republicans frown).  I still continued to pay the full amount on my students loans, therefore paying the government with their own money.

3. Had a horrible break-up.  That's all I'm going to put on the internet about that.

4. Was single for probably the longest time ever since I was a freshman in college.

5. Eventually rekindled a romance.  I was hesitant because I wasn't sure if things had changed from the last time, but now it's better than ever.

6. Was hired as a lead toddler teacher.  Actually was able to use my degree for the first time since graduating in 2009.  I loved this job!  I was working with 1 and 2 year olds, so although trying at times, being able to go outside during 70 degree sunshine and just blow bubbles was a dream come true!

7.  Traveled outside of the country for the first time since Spring Break '08!  I went on a cruise and visited Key West, Grand Cayman Islands, and Jamaica.  It was amazing!!!!

8.  Had an amazing summer of campfires, traveling, concerts, and just plain relaxing.

9.  Began another job with good hours, and an excellent pay.  Unfortunately had to leave my job at the child care center, but now I don't have any financial woes, which is a giant burden lifted off my shoulders.

I wanted to even this list out with a tenth item of change... but then I just realized that it's my OCD kicking in, and 9 is just fine.

Well now you are all caught up on my life in 2012!  As for 2013, I'm excited for what the year has to bring.  After all, my sports number in high school was 13, so I claim it as my lucky number.  I'm trying to have a very optimistic view, learn from mistakes, and continue to figure out what I want to do when I grow up.

I hope you enjoy my journey!

Late night, come home, Work sucks, I know...

ATTENTION: 20 somethings, if you are college educated and enjoy your current job more than having your mother do your laundry or happy hours, raise your hand.

I'm going to assume that those of you with your hand raise (you can put them down now) are few and far between. BUT if you did have your hand raised, I congratulate you... well more like envy you. Lucky biotches.

I came out of college waving my degree in the air and tooting my horn loudly for all to hear. I expected all employers to flock to 'us' like pigeons to bread crumbs. The crumbs I threw must have been stale or perhaps had an unsavory flavor. I went on many job interviews and was a little shocked at what employers offered, and also what they asked of me. I found that my degree did not equal experience (no matter how long it took me to complete it). To be honest, hearing that my education wasn't valid, in an interview, insulted me and my degree. Then, after belittling my education, the employer would offer me a salary that, although above minimum wage, I could not live off of while paying student loans and car payments. Who were these people who worked there now? Turns out they were all either post-grads who still lived with their parents or women who were married with grown children and just wanted an extra income. I did not fall into either of those categories.

Sweet, now what?

I have found that during this economy, a lot of post-grads choose their first full-time jobs based on a few specifics. First of those is salary. It's all about the Benjamins baby! If Diddy remade that song now, it would be titled 'All About the Jacksons'. We finally have independence, a.k.a., we finally have our own bills to pay on top of our student loans. Oh and that car mom & dad gave us for our 16th birthday/graduation/handed down, is on its last few miles. Second are benefits. Now that could either mean health benefits, or fringe benefits. These days a lot of companies offer discounts at fitness centers, and on cell phone plans which are something we look for as perks. Another big bonus is the offer of tuition assistance, which is a perk for us and the employer. Lastly, the final major reason for choosing our first grown-up job is its location. Maybe you want to move from a small town to a big city (like me), or somewhere warmer, or closer to a friend/relative/significant other? Perhaps you chose that job because it is close to home for you?

With that being said, notice that none of those top three reasons included 'because it's what I've always wanted to do' or 'this is what I have been working towards all those years in college'. I don't know about you guys, but that's what I expected to say of my first job. I hadn't thought how unrealistic my expectations were. This realization blindsided me when I read an article on Huffington Post by Christine Hassler. The article was titled "Are 20 Somethings Naively Optimistic About Their Careers?" Clearly, I figured that it was written specifically for me. To give a quick synopsis, Hassler recalls her own experiences of being unsatisfied with jobs she thought would be her career, and gives us angry 20 somethings a wake up call that your first jobs won't be your dream job. She reminded me that we will have to pay our dues, and that could mean starting at the bottom, or working entry level jobs to gain experience.

Here is a little tidbit of informatin about me, I am probably the most impatient person on earth. When I know what I want, I have to have it now! That makes this whole 'paying my dues', and 'gaining experience' thing is killing me... softly. For me, I don't know what my dream job will be, and the fact that I might have to wait 10 years to find out, well that just isn't cool. Nevertheless, I am gritting my teeth and doing the best that I can at whatever job I currently hold.

So my advice to those of you who did not raise your hand, make yourself comfortable, but be ready for what comes next. Constantly challenge yourself in your current job, even the smallest victory can make you feel better. In the meantime, I have kept myself entertained by holding a volunteer position within my sorority. This position allows me to stay close to something that I enjoyed being a part of as a collegiate. I also signed up for an improv class. I'm sure you'll be reading something about that. Fill your downtime with activities, and people that you enjoy. Like my blog! It allows me vent, and doubles as an effortless hobby. P.S. It's free.

Keep your heads up 20 somethings, our time will come.

When I grow up, I wanna have...

GROUPIES! No, what about... a road map to my goals? Is that too much to ask for?

"I can feel the Pressure, it's getting closer now..." - Paramore's Pressure


As the sands fall from the hourglass on my 25th year of life, I have been feeling some pressure to "figure things out". What I mean by that is my career, relationship, identity - basically where I'm going/plan to be in life. Even that sentence is overwhelming. For the record, I do not handle stress well at all. Although I relish the idea of following my instincts towards a life where I enjoy each new day, I'm apprehensive to embark on that journey without a solid plan for each challenge.

Maybe I'm overreacting a little? I could be overanalyzing, or trying way too hard to control the uncontrollable. This is most likely true, and to tell you the truth, this is completely out of character for me. I usually make decisions on impulse, wait until the last minute of a deadline, and buy something I don't need because it's packaged nicely. (Good marketing should always be rewarded.) However, I have always been told that in order to be successful, at anything, you need to be organized. I'm getting a bit off topic, I digress.


I believe that where we are today is a direct result of a path that we chose to take. For example, my dad had worked in the coal mines for years alongside his father. My dad chose the path to begin working right out of high school mainly because he disliked school. He was on this path for a while, and worked hard enough to become the boss underground. My father continued on this path for a while, until he came to a point where a new path had appeared. My father could decide to continue on the path he was on, following the footsteps of his father, or go down this unbeaten path that no one in his family had taken before. Eventually my dad chose to go down the new path that leads him towards a Bachelors degree in special education.

Now I am not naive enough to think that everyone will come across a shiny new path like my dad. Some are forced to stay on their current path for job security, or they choose to stay on that path because they like where it is heading.

I have thought about the paths that I have come across. I have already chosen the different paths a few times. I changed my major, altered my graduation date, and then after graduation, moved to a larger city to live on my own (against the wishes of my parents). There were both positive and negative effects to my decisions. When it comes down to it, the decisions I have made have lead me to where I am today, take it or leave it. Ha!

So, here I am. Where? Well if this was a mall directory, the star that says "You are HERE" would be at the intersection of one path meeting three new ones. I believe that the path I'm on is about to end and I need to choose which to take. None of these paths are going to be easy, and I'm pretty sure they're all uphill. I have never been a big fan of extreme exercise, but I'm still excited for what's ahead.

To Be Continued…

"A blog is like a diary, but you want everyone to read it. Like if you get bad service at a restaurant, you blog it and then you get a free meal at that restaurant. But then you wonder, did they just lure me back here so they could spit in my food? So you blog that and then they take you to court." - The great Busy Philipps as Laurie on Cougar Town

Hot like Mexico, Rejoice!

Ladies and Gents, I am a survivor. A spring break abroad survivor. I will give you a brief synopsis of my venture to Meh-he-co...

I was asked by 2 of my sorority sisters to accompany them to Florida for Spring Break, nothing too wild, just a getaway to warmer temperatures and some drinks by the yard. Sounded harmless enough. Before I knew it, we had gotten another one of our sisters on board and now we were headed for Mexico instead. Not sure how that happened, but it was ok. I had somehow convinced my parents to pay for it as an early graduation gift. They didn't know it was going to be a year and a half early.

So off we were, passports in hand. It was amazing. We went to fun clubs, danced on stages, competed in stupid spring break contests, and wore shirts as dresses. Each of us had "our night" where we were a disaster. Each of us found a guy to entertain us, and tried all sorts of frozen drinks. We danced on a huge stage and saw spiderman fly through the air. I almost won a hottest legs contest and another one of us had to paddle a guy's bare ass. We met Canadians, we met guys from England, and we hung out with some kids in sperry's from Yale. It was such a fun experience, I don't think that if I returned, Cancun would ever be as I remembered.

So my advice to the co-eds out there planning on going on a Spring Break trip:

1. DON'T buy new clothes - you're going to get sand in places you'd rather not, so just choose some picture appropriate attire and an outfit for both day and night. Remember, you're going to be lounging around, and you probably won't ever see those people again.


2. DO tan before - if you plan on coming back tan and not red, you need to get a good base tan so you're skin is ready for that much exposure (ahem, northerners...)


3. DO save up for your trip - Even if you're staying at an all-inclusive resort, expect to pay for: tips, drinks, cover, souvenirs, any activities that you will want to do (ie. party bus, club tours, swimming with dolphins) ALSO: know the exchange rate!! you might get ripped off if not. and it costs extra to run a credit card.


4. DON'T go with a large group - it's too hard to coordinate where everyone is going to be and whether or not everyone will want to do the same thing. I suggest going with a few close friends and maybe meeting up with other groups, but doing your own things.


5. DON'T try to out drink everyone - that's a little selfish. You're friends want to enjoy their vacation too not pick you up off the floor, and what's worse than dealing with foreign police? remember Americans aren't their favorite.


6. DO try something new - step out of your comfort zone, you're on vacation! Go para sailing, swim with dolphins, eat octopus (not my favorite). It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, take lots of pictures and don't' explain anything!